


Uncertain Love

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-22
Updated: 2006-02-22
Packaged: 2018-08-15 23:03:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8076358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Trip feels shut out of John's life and begins to question the captain's devotion to him. (12/10/2002)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: Set before 2.08 "The Communicator." I'm planning on making this the first story of a brand new series. If you guys like this one, I have two other takes in mind to follow, with more possibly in the future.  


* * *

Wham! Trip banged the wrench against the coupling just a little too hard. It really wasn't the impulse manifold that was driving him crazy that particular day, it was Jonathan Archer. Another damn group of diplomats were coming and he was pushed out of the loop, again!

This was the third time in two weeks that Enterprise had run into company. It wasn't the fact that aliens were gonna roam free around his ship that Trip minded so much, but he found out about their visit from the grapevine and that plain broke his heart. It used to be that the captain would be the one to fill him in on ship happenings, but it seemed that Archer was far to busy to waste any time on him, and considering their past relationship, that fact was scaring Tucker right down to his very core.

Trip wanted to blame T'Pol because she was the one that Jonathan Archer was talking to these days, but he supposed that in order to be fair he really couldn't. She was the first officer after all, a fact which pissed him off in it's own right occasionally since that post was supposed to have gone to him, but truth be known, most of the time he really didn't mind. She could go right ahead and take care of all of those procedural matters that went along with being number one, crap like that just kept him away from his beloved engines. Tucker really didn't begrudge T'Pol her job, he just hated the fact that she had the captain's ear, and apparently he didn't. Not anymore.

All last year John had done nothing but talk to Trip. Archer filled the engineer in on all the details of every meeting, every first contact. Hell, the captain even confessed all of his fears to Trip, all of his apprehensions, everything. Now T'Pol was the one to hear all of those declarations, be in on all those plans. Trip wouldn't even get any of the details until all the rest of the officers did at the standard briefings and today was a case in point. A bunch of aliens had come a calling and Trip hadn't even been invited to supper.

All of the above reasons made Trip question just where he stood with Jonathan Archer now. They had started out being, oh so closer than friends, then decided to tone things down while they were on Enterprise, for the good of the mission and settled on just being buddies, but now Trip wondered if they were even that close these days.

Suddenly Tucker couldn't take it anymore. The not knowing, that was. He had to talk to the captain and he didn't care how many important meetings that he had to interrupt. Trip had to find out where he stood, now.

Tucker tracked through Enterprise's corridors until the sounds of alien chatter could be heard from up ahead, then Trip planted himself, off to the side of the corridor in order to be out of the way, yet still within sight. He didn't have long to wait. Within a minute Archer hove into view with a party of very interested aliens following in his wake.

The instant Archer saw Trip the captain knew that something was wrong. Tucker knew better than to interrupt a first contact, yet by the expression on Trip's face, the engineer looked like he was seconds away from doing just that. Archer had to act immediately so he swung around and gave T'Pol an whispered order. "Take over for me for a minute, will you?"

"Sir?" T'Pol may not routinely express most of her emotions, but the Vulcan certainly never had any difficulty in making sure that her displeasure was known.

Archer knew what the trouble was. The Melotian's were a very influential race in this part of the quadrant and messing up humanity's first contact with them wouldn't be a good thing, not at all. Still...the look on Trip's face scared John, a lot. He had to find out what was going on.

The captain once again decided to rely on his first officer. "Explain to them how the plasma conduits work." He told T'Pol. "Or the tract lighting, anything." At the predicted rise of her skeptical brow, Archer continued. "It doesn't matter. Whatever you say will crack them up anyway." It was true. This particular species found the calm Vulcan demeanor to be the ultimate in standup comedy. T'Pol, much to her dismay, had them rolling in the aisles for hours and Archer going to take advantage of that little fact right now. "Just keep them busy for a few minutes." The captain ordered. "I'll be right back."

"Aye, sir." The Vulcan reluctantly acknowledged the command and a few seconds later Archer heard peals of laughter behind him when T'Pol started to explain the wonders of a comm panel to their guests. Then all thoughts of the eccentricities of his visitors faded from his mind when he reached Trip's side. "What's the matter?"

Trip had been all set to launch into a long, complicated description of all of his doubts and insecurities, but suddenly the knowledge that he was the one who could spoil this first contact for everybody finally fought it's way to the forefront of his brain and Tucker started to back off. "It's nothin', Cap'n. I just wanted to ask you somethin', that's all." Trip shot a look at the diplomatic party, realizing how he had nearly put his personal needs over what was best for the ship and sighed. "It can wait."

"Somehow I doubt that." One thing that John learned early on was that Trip wasn't usually a 'needy' type of guy, but when he did need something, when Trip needed him, the engineer's body language shouted out that desire loud and clear, and each time John's heart lurched when he saw it. "What is it, Trip? You can tell me."

"Well, you see Cap'n..."

"Captain!" A demanding Vulcan voice interrupted.

Their attention was now drawn back to the group of diplomats who were beginning to get a bit impatient at the lack of interest they were getting from Enterprise's number one man in charge. Trip knew he was interfering with Archer's duty and felt doubly guilty, really wishing that he hadn't started this all up just then. "Go ahead, Cap'n. It can wait, really."

"The hell it can!" Sure now that something was terribly wrong, Archer gripped Tucker by the shoulders. "Ask me!"

"Aw, Cap'n." The engineer tried to dodge away from Archer's gaze, but John wouldn't let him. The captain was just about to ask Tucker again when he was interrupted.

"Captain!" A most insistent Vulcan voice cried, demanding.

Archer ignored the distraction and focused in on Trip. "Ask me!" An order now.

"Okay." Trip caved in and hissed out his heart wrenching inquiry. "Do you still love me?"

Silence filled the corridor with its shocking quietness. For a second John thought that time might have stopped, along with his heart. How could Trip think to possibly ask such a question? John never thought that Trip could ever doubt him, doubt them so much. In fact, the captain was so stunned by the inquiry that his muscles seemed to atrophy, and he actually loosened his hold on the engineer.

Taking Archer's befuddlement as rejection, after all, a yes or no question shouldn't be that hard to answer, Trip pulled all the way out of Archer's grip. "Sorry to bother you, Cap'n," was all the engineer said before retreating down the passageway.

Archer's heart broke as he watched his lover shuffle away and suddenly he was torn with conflicting desires. Part of him wanted to rush after Trip and make everything better, because he obviously had screwed up badly here, but the captain knew that he still had to deal with one pissed off Vulcan, though she would never admit that, who was demanding that Archer rejoin the diplomatic party immediately. John sighed. As important as Trip was to him, Archer knew that his personal affairs would have to wait. Plastering a smile on his face, John started up the tour again. Duty, as always, came first.

* * *

Trip usually didn't have to resort to such extreme measures, but tonight he was down so low that only one thing could make him feel better, so the first thing the engineer did when he reached his cabin was rummage around in his closet. It only took a few seconds to wrestle his aging photo album from it's hiding place beneath his dirty laundry, then clutching the book as if it was his most precious possession, and at that moment it was, Tucker settled himself onto his bunk and let himself get lost in the past.

Trip called this album his "Scrapbook full of Memories" because it held photos of the most important events of his life. Trip learned long ago that he much preferred to store printouts of his pictures in an actual book, rather than calling the images up electronically on a padd. Examining these tokens of his past in this physical way was much more satisfying than just viewing them alone.

The first section of the album was innocent enough, most of the photographs were of family and friends, along with snapshots of several planets they had visited during their last year of exploration. It was only as he progressed deeper into the book that his journey began to delve into more personal territory. One section Trip hastened to look at had never been seen by outside eyes because it chronicled the private life of Trip and John the lovers, rather than Archer and Tucker the professional Starfleet officers.

There were photos from every important milestone of their romance, from their first date, right up through their last big blowout in Aspen. On that trip the couple decided to indulge in one more interlude before having to give up their passionate, personal love for the good of Enterprise's mission, not to mention it's crew.

As Trip flipped the pages each picture he saw evoked another memory. There were images of the two of them skating at the pond, fooling around on the ski lift, or building a snowman. Their particular snow creation wasn't as good as the one Malcolm built on that comet, since it wasn't a Vulcan and as soon as Trip saw Reed's inspiration the engineer was jealous because he didn't think of it first, but at least he and John had built theirs together, which made that one special.

The next photo was one of Trip's favorites. It showed Trip and John bundled up together in the back of a sleigh that was being pulled by a horse, complete with bells jingling all the way. Trip remembered the warmth he found while snuggling close to John as the cold wind whipped through his hair. As soon as they were out of sight of the lodge Johnny immediately started pelting Trip with kisses and his caresses ran all up and down Trip's arms which helped to keep the engineer warm. After a few minutes of such attention Trip was way more than warm. He was hot. Very, very hot.

Trip's hand trembled but he found that he had the courage to turn to the last section of his book. The one that contained the most private photos in his collection. He didn't know for sure if John had even seen these particular pictures, but he sure as hell was positive that no one else had. Trip had set up his camera on a tripod and he had shot a whole sequence of the couple making love. Trip ran his fingers over one of the photographs. Touching the glossy surface was hardly a decent substitute for the feel of John's skin against his own, but at the moment it was all he had. Trip felt a flash of fear and was suddenly terrified that a photo was all he had left. That he was never going to feel John's caress again.

Then the doorbell rang.

It was John, Trip thought, tossing the album aside before leaping to his feet. It had to be. The captain had come to make up by taking Trip into his arms and kissing him senseless. Trip was so set to dive into John's embrace that it was all he could do to catch himself before he gave Malcolm a hug that the armory officer wasn't expecting and almost certainly didn't want. "Sorry, Malcolm." Trip stammered out his apology before pulling back enough to let his friend into his room. "I wasn't expectin' you."

"I can see that." Reed took in the disheveled image that was standing before him. Trip Tucker was dressed in sweats, with his hair tousled and his cheeks covered with stubble, then Reed examined the room that he was now standing in and discovered that it was a mess as well. Malcolm knew that Trip was hardly the neatest person in the universe but he was rarely this sloppy. Even that bed was unmade.

When Trip saw that Malcolm was looking at the bed, the engineer kind of freaked out a little. Even though the book had shut when it fell, thank you God, his album was still laying out there in plain sight. While he knew that there was no way that Malcolm would ever look in something as personal as someone else's photo album uninvited, it made Tucker nervous to have such graphic photos of himself with the captain so near at hand. In an instant reaction Trip grabbed the book and threw it into his locker before Malcolm could do so much as to say a word.

As he watched his friend the armory officer was just stupefied. Trip had no cause for such a panicked response that he could see, and Reed wondered what could have possibly inspired such odd behavior.

Realizing that he had crossed the line a little, Trip tried to cover up his move by seeming to be embarrassed by the state of disarray all around them and rapidly started to pick up stuff. "Sorry about the mess, Malcolm." Trip said, relocating a sweater from it's temporary resting place on the floor and putting it back where it belonged in his closet. "Sometimes the junk pileup gets away from me."

"That's all right, Commander. Occasionally serving on Enterprise doesn't leave us with enough free time to eat, much less clean up, and speaking of eating..."

Trip straightened up as the memory hit him, hard. "We were supposed to have dinner tonight, weren't we?"

Malcolm checked his watch. "About fifteen minutes ago to be precise. When I couldn't raise you on the comm I became concerned, so here I am."

"You called me on the comm?" Trip whistled internally at Malcolm's nod. Wow, he must have really been out of it. "I'm sorry, Malcolm. I must have been asleep or somethin'. I never even heard you."

"That's all right. No harm done." Reed said, relieved that there appeared to be nothing wrong with Trip other than the effects of a wayward nap. "It's not too late. We can run along and get a bite now."

Trip had nothing against Malcolm's company, but Tucker was still hoping, against hope that Archer was going to come by, so the last thing he wanted to do was leave. Still, Trip didn't want to hurt Malcolm's feeling's and the engineer realized that he was going to have to come up with some excuse, and quick. "I'm afraid that food is the last thing that I want right now, Malcolm. I was workin' on a plasma leak this mornin' and I guess I took in a little to much gas."

"Trip!" Reed was very concerned. He knew that something had been wrong with his friend and now his fears had been confirmed.

The armory officer was so alarmed that he was going to insist that Tucker head to sickbay immediately when Trip cut him off. "Don't worry, Malcolm, I've been eatin' plasma gas, in tiny doses, my whole life. It doesn't hurt you any in the long run, it just leaves you with a sour taste in your mouth, that's all."

"Well..." Malcolm wasn't sure if he totally believed Trip. He had the definite impression that something more serious was wrong, but he also knew Tucker well enough to know that he wasn't going to get more out of his friend just then. "If you're sure?"

"I'm positive." Relieved that Malcolm seemed to be buying his explanation, Trip started to edge the armory officer toward the door. "I promise I'll be ready and anxious to get some vittles inside me by tomorrow so why don't we go get us some lunch then?"

"All right." Aware that his presence wasn't wanted at that particular moment Malcolm let himself be propelled, but the wasn't going to give up totally without a fight. "You do know that if something was wrong you could talk to me about it, don't you?"

"I know." That made Trip feel a little bit better. Regardless of what was going to happen with John at least he had one true friend with him on this ship. Trip gave Malcolm a genuine smile and gave him a pat on the back. "Thanks, Malcolm. I really appreciate it."

"Anytime, my friend." Malcolm returned the pat. "Anytime."

Trip flashed him another one of the engineer's award winning smiles, which died as soon as the door slid shut. While it was good to know that he still had a friend, it was Trip's love life that he was worried about, and that was still very much in doubt.

* * *

Peals of laughter rang through the captain's mess. Enterprise's current guest, Tun'Kakka, was once again thoroughly enjoying T'Pol's Vulcan wit, but Archer was far from having a good time. Trip's anguished inquiry kept ringing through his mind. "Do you love me?" Why would Trip ask that? How could he possibly question the intensity of John's love, especially after all they've been through? But doubt it he did, and Trip's reservations must be intense for him to interrupt a first contact to even ask the question, and that was the fact that was scaring John the most. So much so that he had lost all track of the dinner conversation and was only roused when his guest said his name, for the third time. "I'm sorry, Tun'Kakka. What were you saying?"

"I apologize if my company is boring you, Captain."

"Oh no." John woke up and started protesting vigorously. He didn't want to mess up this first contact the same way he apparently had messed up his love life, by not paying attention. "Don't think that, Tun'Kakka, please. It's just that..." How to explain it? "A good friend of mine is ill and I'm very worried about him, that's all."

That caused T'Pol's eyebrow to rise. She knew nothing about a sick crewmember, but Tun'Kakka seemed to accept the explanation well enough and was mollified by it. "Then you must go to him at once, Captain."

Oh lord, he wanted to, but John couldn't just abandon his duty like that. "But..."

Tun'Kakka held up a tentacle. "No, I insist. I admire your dedication to duty, Captain, but you must remember that one must make time for the personal as well as the professional, because only if the two aspects of your life are blended together will you be strong enough to be a truly great leader of your people."

Tun'Kakka's words lingered in the air for a few seconds while John realized that moments like this were why he was out here. It never ceased to amaze him that an alien, especially one who'd never laid eyes on their species before, could give him a better insight into what it really meant to be human than his own people could. Archer vowed to continue that conversation with his guest later, but right then the he had more pressing matters to attend to. "Thank you Tun'Kakka. You are truly a wise leader."

"Thank you, Captain." Tun'Kakka nodded, before turning his attention back toward T'Pol. "I will spend the intervening time speaking with you're charming first officer. She is the most entertaining person that I have ever met."

That brought another eye brow raise from T'Pol and earned Tun'Kakka a chilly, Vulcan stare. "Indeed."

Tun'Kakka burst out laughing. "You crack me up, my dear. You surely do."

Shaking his head at such a concept, Archer left his guest in the care of his first officer (aka standup comedian) and slipped out of the room. Now that his duty had been taken care of, John had to fix the other most important thing in his life.

* * *

Trip didn't run to answer the bell this time. It could be Hoshi, or Travis or even T'Pol standing on the other side of his door, wanting to discuss some sort of ships business or another. Trip was so successful in thinking this, that the engineer was actually surprised to see that his visitor was indeed Archer this time. Suddenly all of Trip's fear and anxiety returned, full force, but that didn't stop him from inviting his captain inside. "I thought you were dinin' with the Melotian's tonight?"

"I was." John admitted as he sat across from Trip. "But fortunately he was so busy laughing at T'Pol's jokes that I figured that they could spare me for a little while."

Now Trip thought he had been comprehending his captain just fine, but after that last sentence he couldn't help but wonder if he was going a little crazy here. "T'Pol's jokes?"

John laughed a little, correctly reading his lover's bewilderment. "You heard me right. Apparently the, oh so calm Vulcan demeanor that you and I are so used to is hilarious to these aliens. I swear if the High Command ever wants to give up science or the pursuit of logic, they could make a fortune selling their briefing tapes as standup routine's to the Melotian's."

"Really?" Despite the banter Trip began to feel a little uncomfortable having the man of his dreams sit so close, especially when everything was so unsettled between them, so the engineer fought to keep the conversation on a totally neutral platform. "I guess it takes all kinds to make up a universe, huh?"

"I guess so."

Trip's efforts failed and the talk petered out. The men sat in an awkward silence for awhile before Archer finally spoke. "Oh, Baby..." John deliberately used that endearment, thereby setting the tone for this conversation. On the bridge they were captain and commander. At other, less formal but still professional areas of the ship they were Cap'n and Trip. It was only when the pair was alone and engaged in a purely private conversation that the couple slipped into calling each other by endearments. Trip was "Baby" and John was "Darlin'." Sure the names were silly, but they were very personal and a stark contrast to their professional lives. Usually Trip enjoyed being addressed in such a trivial way, because it meant that he and John were in a romantic setting and could be totally intimate with each other, however, the tone of today's conversation was far from light and Trip steeled himself, knowing full well that the next few minutes would determine if he was ever going to be called "Baby" by his beloved again.

"How could you ask that question?" John continued. "I love you more than I've loved anyone, more than any other human alive, more than I ever thought I could love. I know you know that, so how could you doubt me after all this time?"

"How could I not?" This was too much for Trip to take sitting still so the engineer jumped up from his bed and started to pace. "You don't talk to me anymore, Johnny." Trip deliberately avoided addressing John by his own, personal endearment. Tucker wasn't ready for that, not just yet. "Okay I understood the need to pull back from the physical stuff while we're out here, but I always thought you'd still be there for me, but lately you've shut me out. Pushed me away from every aspect of your life, so what else can I think except that our lack of touch has us driftin' apart instead of keepin' us together. "

"Oh, Baby I'm sorry." Trip's reaction surprised the heck out of John. It was the last thing he expected, but now Archer saw that he should have anticipated that Trip might feel this way, and his own lack of insight was frightening. "You're right. I have been pulling back from you..." John saw the burst of pain flash across Trip's face and hastened to finish his thoughts before he hurt his lover any further. "But not because I don't love you...God, never think that I don't love you." John was on his feet, across the room and had Trip's hands in his own in an instant. "You've got to believe me now, Trip when I tell you that I haven't pulled back because I love you less, but because I love you more."

"You love me more?" While his heart started to sing when he heard John's declaration pour from his lips, he still didn't understand. "I don't get it, Johnny. How does shuttin' me out of your life prove that you love me more?"

John's eyes turned feral as the lover emerged from the shell of the captain and Archer began to rake his gaze up and down Trip's body in a way that Tucker hadn't seen in over a year. "Because I want you so much, Baby, that I can't trust myself to be in the same room with you, and you know why?"

Trip mutely shook his head as he began to tremble with his own pent up desire.

John noticed. "Because if I found myself alone with you I knew that I couldn't trust that my willpower was going to be strong enough to keep me from grabbing you and fucking you brains out right then and there. And you know what?"

Breathless, Trip was almost afraid to ask, but he had to know. "What?"

"I was right!" Before Trip could react John shifted his hand upward to clutch a bunch of Trip's T-shirt, then he tugged the material toward him, bring his lover along for the ride. As soon as Tucker got into range John leaned forward and eagerly captured Trip's lips with his own.

Trip was so surprised that he held back, but only for a second, then he leaned forward and positively melted into the kiss and the embrace.

John's mouth may have been occupied, but his hands weren't idle either. One released it's grip on the outside of Trip's shirt, then it snaked it's way to the underside of the cloth and his fingers started to trail up Trip's chest, splaying across Tucker's skin, working their way upward, finally only stopping their journey to encircle and tweak Tucker's nipples. Trip's groan of pleasure intensified when Archer's other hand plunged deep into his sweats and, after a year, his fingers finally returned home when they cradled around Tucker's erection.

Trip didn't fight it, but let himself be swept away in the sensations. Before he knew it Tucker found himself stripped of all his clothes, lying on his back on his bed with John's naked body pressed up tight against his.

Tucker felt the effect of John's wandering hands as the captain of the Enterprise started to explore the erotic territory of Trip's lower region, but the engineer began to panic when he felt John's finger circle around his opening. Not because he didn't want John inside him, he wanted that more than anything, but the problem was that he'd been planning on staying celibate during this entire trip, so he didn't have any lube to smooth things along, so to speak.

John was immediately concerned when he felt Trip tense beneath him, then laughed when Trip told him why. Even though the captain didn't have as many merit badges as Malcolm Reed, ever the boy scout, Jonathan Archer was always prepared.

Trip relaxed when he felt John's greased covered fingers enter him, and relished the feeling when John's cock followed suit. It had been so long since they had allowed themselves this indulgence and they wanted it to last, but their desire was just too overwhelming. Before Trip knew it he felt John come deep within him, only to be followed seconds later by Trip's own expression of liquid love.

When it was over John collapsed on top of Trip. After a few seconds to collect himself, Archer came to his senses and shifted to the right of Tucker, making sure that most of his weight was now resting on the mattress, rather than his lover. Still, John made the most of this moment and draped his arm and legs over his beloved.

Trip sighed a happy sigh and vowed to cherish the closeness he was experiencing right then, knowing damn well that he wasn't going to get a chance to hold onto John at any time in the near future, but the engineer was grateful for the present. An hour ago he'd been afraid that his relationship had been all over and he sure as hell hadn't imagined that he and John would have ended up making love tonight. As to that..."Oh Darlin'..." The endearment could now be used. "How could I have doubted you?"

"You had every right to, Baby." On this subject John was certain. "I'm the one who shut you out without a word as to why. What else were you supposed to think?"

"I was supposed to trust you." Trip countered. "That's what people in love do, isn't it?"

"Yeah, Baby, they are, but you have to remember that I know you, Trip, maybe a little better than you do yourself. I suspect that you didn't really doubt my love for you, not deep down, anyway."

Now that Trip was lying safe in John's arms, he could admit that was true. He hadn't really lost his faith in their love, it was just that Johnny's uncharacteristic silence had unnerved him. "I know that Darlin'. I guess I was just missin' you somethin' fierce, that's all." Trip smiled, reveling in their nakedness, then his smile faded. "Still, I'm expectin' that it's gonna be a long time before we get to do this again?"

"I'm afraid so, Trip."

Tucker laughed, a small, little laugh. "I don't suppose we'd be settin' a good example if the crew kept catchin' me sneakin' out of your quarters at all hours of the night."

John laughed too. "I don't suppose so." John tightened his grip on Trip once again. "Still this little episode has proven to me that we can't expect to go without making love for the rest of the voyage."

"We can last for about a year, I reckon."

John looked over their entwined, sweat drying forms. "Not more than that, though."

"Maybe, maybe not." Trip said. "I can go without the physical stuff for as long as you want, Darlin'. Nothin' else really matters except for the fact that you love me."

"And you believe in that now?"

A part of John was afraid to ask because so much hinged on that answer, but there was no hesitation in Trip's reply. Absolutely none. "Completely and totally."

"I'm glad." John's relationship with Trip was the most precious thing in the universe to him and today was one hell of a wake up call. From now on Archer vowed to work harder to keep Trip's trust and to ensure that the couple would always be together. "Still, maybe it wouldn't hurt if you heard me say so more often."

Trip's embarrassment returned. "Ah, Darlin', you don't have to go do anythin' special just for me."

"Yes I do." Trip's heart wrenching question which doubted his love echoed once again in his head. "I want to tell you I love you, Baby. I want to show you all the time."

"Well, it could get to be a little embarrassin' if we got caught makin' out on the bridge." Trip giggled at the mental image.

That made John laugh a little too. "I'm afraid that I had something a little more sedate in mind." John took Trip's hand with his own, peppering the back with tiny, loving kisses. "More sedate, but no less meaningful."

"Whatcha gonna do?" Trip wondered, enthralled. "Kiss my hand in front of everybody like a real gentleman?"

"Not exactly." John looked up and Trip shivered a little at the intensity of his gaze, then John returned his glance to Tucker's hand. "I know. When we're out in public and I do this..." John ran his forefinger up the back of Trip's hand. "...it means I love you, and believe me, Trip, I plan on doing this a lot."

"Really?" Trip was touched by the simple, yet heartfelt gesture. "Well then..." Trip shifted his grip so he was able to repeat the movement, this time with the engineer's finger rubbing the back of John's hand. "Right back at ya, Darlin'."

John captured Trip's fingers with his own, cradling them close, treasuring this moment, then the captain within him began to reassert itself. "You know that I'd love to stay here all night, Baby, I'd better get back and see how the ambassador's doing, that is as long as we're okay."

"We're just fine, Darlin'." Trip kissed his love, before finally letting John go. "You'd best get a move on. I expect that T'Pol's gettin' a little tired of doin' her stand up routine.

"I expect you're right." John joyfully mimicked his lover's accent before getting to his feet.

The captain was reaching for his underwear when Trip called for him to stop. "Just one more thing before you get goin', Darlin'."

John put his underwear down and sat back to enjoy the view of his naked lover padding across the floor before stopping to rummage for something in his desk. After a few seconds of searching Trip let out a cry of success before coming up with his camera. "I want a new picture of us for my book, Johnny." He said, before carefully positioning the instrument on his desk. Once everything was in place Trip set the timer and hurried across the room to sit next to his lover. John had just enough time to throw his arms around his beloved and plant a kiss on Trip's cheek just as the shutter clicked.

The first thing Trip did after John left was to print out his new photo and put it in a place of honor in his scrapbook. His faith in his love restored, today was one memory Trip wanted to treasure, forever.


End file.
